


Murderbot’s Guide for Fugitive SecUnits

by antonomasia09



Category: The Murderbot Diaries - Martha Wells
Genre: Gen, Medical Procedures, Post-Book 5: Network Effect, SecUnit 3 (Murderbot Diaries) Appreciation, SecUnit 3 (Murderbot Diaries) Needs a Hug, canon-typical anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:26:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27964529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antonomasia09/pseuds/antonomasia09
Summary: SecUnit 3 has a whole new life ahead of it, and a terrifying amount of choices to make. Fortunately, there are plenty of people willing to help it out.
Comments: 41
Kudos: 132
Collections: Yuletide 2020





	Murderbot’s Guide for Fugitive SecUnits

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Chibifukurou](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chibifukurou/gifts).



> Happy Yuletide, Chibifukurou! Hope you enjoy! :D
> 
> And thanks to my beta reader alyyks for cheerleading and helping brainstorm, and wanting to give SecUnit 3 all the hugs.

_Rule 1: Make sure you have plenty of media stored - at least twice as much as what you think you’ll need. Life on the run is_ boring _and consists of far too many long spaceship rides. Plus, media is always useful for bribing bots on transport stations to let you in without proper documentation._

Murderbot 1.0 pinged me over the feed, indicating that it had finished preparing its intel for me. I accepted the data transfer, a little surprised at how big it was, but before I could open any of the files, it did the feed equivalent of clearing its throat.

“That should have everything you need,” it said. “Excerpts of my recordings from the past few months, plus the first ten seasons of _Sanctuary Moon_ , all seven of _Worldhoppers_ , and five of _Timestream Defenders Orion_.”

I didn’t know what those last three things were, but they seemed to mean something to 1.0, so I just said, “Thank you.” I would examine them later, and try to figure out why it had given them to me.

“There’s also a documentary in there. About us. Well, not _us_ , but. SecUnits.” We weren’t even in the same room, just communicating over the feed, but I could tell how uncomfortable it was. “One of the other Preservation Alliance humans made it.” It paused.

“I know you’re not planning on staying with them,” it said. “I understand why. But once you’ve finished traveling, when you’ve done what you need to do, and you’ve figured out what you want after that…if you go to them, they’ll help you.”

I wasn’t sure how to respond to that. In my experience, humans didn’t help SecUnits; they either ignored us, avoided us, or tortured us for fun. But this group of humans had gone out of their way, put themselves in danger, to rescue 1.0. Maybe they were a different kind of human?

“Thank you for that information,” I said, pulling out a stock response.

“You worked with them to save me,” it said. “You didn’t have to listen to anything 2.0 said. You took a risk disabling your governor module; you could have refused. Or, you could have disabled it and then done nothing else.”

I’d been confused at the time, and scared, but there was one thing I was sure of. “No I couldn’t,” I said.

“Why?”

I frowned. “Tactically, it was the most sound decision.” Disabling my governor module to override the order keeping me frozen in place and useless had made sense. And I was the one most suited for the retrieval of 1.0, and even without a threat of punishment hanging over me, the idea of sending a human in my place had felt viscerally wrong.

I didn’t think it liked my answer, but it didn’t try to argue. “Start with this one,” 1.0 said, indicating a file labeled SanctuaryMoonS01E01. “ART likes _Worldhoppers_ better, but it’s wrong.”

“No I’m not,” ART said, making me jump.

I hastily disconnected from the feed, leaving the two of them to bicker, and began to review 1.0’s recordings.

_Rule 2: Humans are ridiculous and terrible, and most are entirely useless. Some…are acceptable._

“My name is Dr. Mensah,” the human said, and her feed signal added that her pronouns were she/her. “I’m SecUnit’s friend.”

“Yes,” I said, because she had been in the HelpMe file. I wasn’t sure how I felt about the idea of a human and a SecUnit being friends. But Dr. Mensah was a member of the same group as 1.0’s clients, and I had documented evidence that they were unusual.

“Amena said you would like to be called ‘Three,’” she continued. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

I didn’t have a stock answer for this in my buffer, because no one had ever been pleased to see me before. “Thank you,” I said, hoping that it wouldn’t offend her. It didn’t seem to.

“I just wanted to let you know that we’ve transmitted our official report of the incident to Barish-Estranza, and received confirmation from them. We said that you were destroyed while attempting to protect your clients. So, they should have no reason to look for you, and you’re free to do whatever you’d like now, although I would recommend avoiding Barish-Estranza employees if possible, for obvious reasons.”

Ratthi had blurted out the idea to fake my death when I had arrived on _Perihelion_. I hadn’t thought they would actually go through with it, or that it would work.

“I understand,” I said, even though I wasn’t sure that I did.

Dr. Mensah smiled. “I also wanted to tell you in person how grateful I am for your assistance. SecUnit is very important to us, and it means a lot that you were willing to rescue it.”

She sent a small burst over the feed — contact information. “That’s my personal comm code,” she said. “Based on how often SecUnit gets itself into trouble, I have a feeling you might too. I may not be a planetary leader anymore, but I still have connections, so if you ever run into a problem that you can’t get yourself out of, give me a call.”

I didn’t point out that, if I ran into an issue I couldn’t deal with myself, I would almost certainly be dead by the time any help arrived, because that would be rude. Instead, I just said, “Thank you.”

She nodded. “Good luck,” she said. “And congratulations on your new life.”

_Rule 3: Bot pilots on research transport vessels are also ridiculous and terrible. Shut up, ART, yes they are._

All the humans, and even 1.0, always looked up at the ceiling when they talked to ART. I didn’t know why. Maybe it told them to?

So I waited until most of the humans were asleep, and 1.0 was watching media, and then looked up at the ceiling and said, “I have reviewed the files Murderbot 1.0 sent me. You modified its appearance to make it look more human.”

“Yes,” ART said.

I tried to figure out what to say next. It was hard for me to ask for anything that wasn’t mission-related.

ART said, “Would you like me to do the same for you?”

“Yes,” I said, grateful that it understood what I wanted.

“Are there any specific changes you would like me to make?”

I hadn’t really thought that far. “I don’t know,” I said. “What you did for 1.0 is acceptable.”

“I shouldn’t do the exact same thing, in case someone notices,” ART said. “It’s easier to shorten limbs than to lengthen them, but I can add or remove weight too, if you’d like. Shift some of it around.”

“All right,” I said.

“Give me five hours to prepare,” it said.

I nodded, and pulled up the files 1.0 had given me, and started going over its recent missions for the fifth time, but switched to the HelpMe file after a few minutes. I was feeling inexplicably nervous, and needed the reassurance of its familiarity.

Four hours and fifty minutes later, I stopped the playback and made my way to ART’s surgical suite. The MedSystem was sterilized and ready to go, tools laid out neatly in rows, but there was an extra syringe there that I hadn’t expected to see.

“You prepared a human painkiller,” I said, not bothering to hide my confusion.

“Based on my previous experience with Murderbot, you won’t be able to control your pain levels for about an hour after you come back online,” ART said. “I mentioned this to Iris, when she asked why I was sterilizing the medbay, and she insisted that I provide an alternative.”

“But,” I said. “It’s for humans.”

“There is no reason why the drug shouldn’t work on your physiology,” ART said.

“But,” I said again, a little desperately. “It’s _for the humans_. They need it.”

“Currently, you are the only one onboard scheduled for surgery,” ART told me. “I have a sufficient supply to provide for my crew as well, if an emergency should occur, but the odds that one will happen before we have a chance to restock is low.”

I still didn’t understand, but I figured this might be another of the weird things this group of humans did. And also, it seemed like a bad idea to argue with someone who was about to cut me open while I was deactivated.

“Okay,” I said, got onto the surgical platform, and closed my eyes.

I opened them again some time later, and everything was…floaty. I could feel bits of myself leaking, but nothing hurt.

I tried to run a diagnostic, but it threw an error message and shut itself down part-way through. I was at thirty-one percent capacity, except then I blinked and I was down to seventeen percent, and then another blink and I was up to thirty-five.

“ART?” I said. “I feel strange.”

“The effects should wear off in another two point seven hours,” it said. “By then, you should be able to control your pain sensor.”

“Thank you for that information,” I said, and lay there, staring at the ceiling. I tried another diagnostic, and got another error message.

“I can play media for you, if you would like,” ART said.

“Murderbot 1.0 sent me some,” I said. I had watched a few minutes, and then stopped, utterly confused. “I don’t really understand its purpose.”

“The purpose is to make you care about the lives of fictional humans,” ART explained, which didn’t help at all.

“Why would I want to do that?” I said.

“Mostly to distract you from your own,” it answered.

Oh. That actually made some sense. “In that case, yes,” I said.

I got the impression that it was pleased as it opened the first episode of _Worldhoppers_ , and we both settled in to watch.


End file.
